Heres a little update- i' m working on things.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
just keep smiling
sometimes the only thing i can do is keep smiling my way through life. regardless of how lonely,confused or lost i am my smile will be my saving grace.
Heres a little update- i' m working on things.
Heres a little update- i' m working on things.
interesting
wow i really look weird without makeup! lol o well waddya expect i was getting ready for theday
the end product! MUCH better lol
Kayaking
Soo my new thing is kayaking.... its so peaceful and is a good workout and is a way to get away from everything.... so Kari, and i packed up our kayaks and paddled out little hearts out today... it was interesgting since it was super windy but we had a good time anywaiz. here are some pictures
Thursday, August 21, 2008
....
Well well well
since i no longer have any friends where i live anymore i am calling to my long lost friends in the blogging world to reassure me that i've made the right choice....
So I randomly got in this idea that i really wanted to get serious about life and get my life together... which ment changing my whole life basically.
So it all started with the basics... quiting drinking.... this sucks big time i'm not going to lie... i gained like ten pounds in like three weeks and have had massive migraines on top of possiblybeing the most stressed out person in the world. but that to me just makes me realize just how big of problem it was and how much worse it could have gotten...
So with quitting drinking brings me to the evil reality of my "friends" are not so much friends... I went from having all the friends in the world to spending every single nite alone without the phone ringing and my text inbox being empty... i'm a lameo. your basic loser.
as you can tell from my previous post even kim my bff of 17 years and i have gone our separate ways...
I still am working on the going to church thing... i've started reading the scriptures and went and toured the T.F. temple but i'm still kinda of being prideful and am afriad of going back to singles ward. I so badly want to be happy... and i know it'll happen after i deal with the consquences... i never thought that i'd be going through all of this completly alone... No friends around, no family to support me (thats nothing new though) i feel like i'm stuck in this limbo land and am just stuck... I'm trying really hard to not let my anxeity and depression get the best of me.. but its hard to get out of bed and put my smile on knowing that ill be going about my day completly alone...
whatev right? i'll make it through evetually.... somehow...
since i no longer have any friends where i live anymore i am calling to my long lost friends in the blogging world to reassure me that i've made the right choice....
So I randomly got in this idea that i really wanted to get serious about life and get my life together... which ment changing my whole life basically.
So it all started with the basics... quiting drinking.... this sucks big time i'm not going to lie... i gained like ten pounds in like three weeks and have had massive migraines on top of possiblybeing the most stressed out person in the world. but that to me just makes me realize just how big of problem it was and how much worse it could have gotten...
So with quitting drinking brings me to the evil reality of my "friends" are not so much friends... I went from having all the friends in the world to spending every single nite alone without the phone ringing and my text inbox being empty... i'm a lameo. your basic loser.
as you can tell from my previous post even kim my bff of 17 years and i have gone our separate ways...
I still am working on the going to church thing... i've started reading the scriptures and went and toured the T.F. temple but i'm still kinda of being prideful and am afriad of going back to singles ward. I so badly want to be happy... and i know it'll happen after i deal with the consquences... i never thought that i'd be going through all of this completly alone... No friends around, no family to support me (thats nothing new though) i feel like i'm stuck in this limbo land and am just stuck... I'm trying really hard to not let my anxeity and depression get the best of me.. but its hard to get out of bed and put my smile on knowing that ill be going about my day completly alone...
whatev right? i'll make it through evetually.... somehow...
Monday, August 18, 2008
we came to a fork in the road and had to go our separte ways...
Well well well,
Karma sucks... All the times that i dispointed ppl has seriously came and kicked me in the butt...
My best friend, of 17 plus years and i have gone our separate ways....
Its weird to have no one... its like i'm going through a massive break up only with my best friend instead of a boyfriend...
We laid out our goals, desires, wants and needs for our future... and utimatily decided that we had to go our separate ways....
its weird to be on the opposite end of things... its weird for me to be the one to say enough is enough... usually i'm the one being told to mellow out or get out... not so much this time...
o well, its for the better... it has to be...
i can only hope i dont regret this in the long run..
I feel so empty so lost and so alone
Suck...
thats the only word that can describe how things are right now
sucky....
Karma sucks... All the times that i dispointed ppl has seriously came and kicked me in the butt...
My best friend, of 17 plus years and i have gone our separate ways....
Its weird to have no one... its like i'm going through a massive break up only with my best friend instead of a boyfriend...
We laid out our goals, desires, wants and needs for our future... and utimatily decided that we had to go our separate ways....
its weird to be on the opposite end of things... its weird for me to be the one to say enough is enough... usually i'm the one being told to mellow out or get out... not so much this time...
o well, its for the better... it has to be...
i can only hope i dont regret this in the long run..
I feel so empty so lost and so alone
Suck...
thats the only word that can describe how things are right now
sucky....
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Me N My Little Big Sista
I aboslutly adore this girl!! It's funny because I always just used to treat her like she was my own child because of crap circumstances... She's been there through it all... me sneaking out at nite (makeing her swear not to tell) Through the dating jerks stage... to me breaking her heart and moving out.... None the less we have stuck by eachother and I can say that Jeannie is my best friend. Its fun to help her through her dating stages and to having to pick her up from some ones house cuz she got herself in a crappy situation to just having her come ocer to my house for a day consisting of nothing but pjs. ice cream, dr pepers and movies... I love her so stinkin much!! I cant wait to see what the future has in store for her!! 
Its weird to think that Jeannie will be graduating this year!!
She really does love me i swear!!
and it the end all you really need is acouple good friends and a sister to catch you when you fall
Its weird to think that Jeannie will be graduating this year!!
She really does love me i swear!!
and it the end all you really need is acouple good friends and a sister to catch you when you fall
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